No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
