How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
