Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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