I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
