Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you never un-have a 4some
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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