I feel like abortions should bother me more
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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