please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
