I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
