you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We have so much sex to catch up on
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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