dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i've created a new STD.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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