I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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