do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
