i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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