I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
