did you get engaged???
I think I died a long time ago.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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