remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
