did you get engaged???
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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