All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
