i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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