i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
