So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
