So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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