I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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