Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
