Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Yo dont text me then not text me

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.

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(301): View more from Maryland

she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is

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(914): View more from New York

My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.

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(519): View more from Ontario

It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.

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