CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
