oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
