508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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