And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
