i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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