There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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