I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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