Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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