Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
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