You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think my nap took me to another dimension
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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