did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize