Sober January is a disaster.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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