don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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