good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
A bitchslap is in order.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize