I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
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