A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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