so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
