He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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