Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
