I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize