if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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