he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
