i think my tv is drunk
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
