Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
