Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
