i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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